Thanksgiving and fancy

When Darcy is tired of stupidity, ignorance or even of life, he rises, places a certain CD is its player and presses the button. He then reflects on the extraordinary life of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Darcy is not a particularly religious man. But listening to Mozart is a religious experience for him. Darcy did not always feel this way; his first favourite composer was Wagner (whom he still likes very much) and he then progressed to Mahler. But Mozart soon overwhelmed him. Darcy dates his conversion to when he heard Mozart’s first symphony – the one he composed at the age of eight in London, to while away the time while his father lay sick. This is a trifling work, but at the same time it is incredible. It holds up well against the mature works of all but the first rank of eighteenth century composers. Astounding.


In the minuscule part of his brain that is not occupied listening to the music, Darcy often ponders three questions. First, the inherent unfairness of life. Second, the bravery of genius. And third, what would have happened if Mozart had lived a normal span. To put this into perspective, Darcy noted down a list of first and second rate composers who were either a) born before 1700 and died after 1750 or b) were born between 1700 and 1800. (For those interested, the sample is: G.P. Telemann, Rameau, J.S. Bach, Handel, D. Scarlatti, Porpora, Tartini, Hasse, G.B.Sammartini, Pergolesi, Gluck, C.P.E. Bach, J. Stamic, L. Mozart, Goldberg, Piccinni, J. Haydn, J.C. Bach, M. Haydn, Paisiello, Grétry, Boccherini, K. Stamic, Cimarosa, Salieri, Clementi, Mozart, Cherubini, Beethoven, Spontini, Hummel, Paganini, Auber, Spohr, v. Weber, Meyerbeer, Hérold, Rossini, Schubert, Donizetti, and Halévy). In this sample of 41 composers, only Pergolesi, Goldberg and Schubert died at a younger age than Mozart. The average longevity of these composers is 65 years. The standard deviation of the sample is 17 years. Mozart's age at death of 35 is nearly two standard deviations below the mean! (Darcy also notes that Mozart's father died at the age of 68 and his sister at 78.)

Darcy believes that the composer of whom - among a host of others - Haydn said "I have often been flattered by my friends with having some genius, but he was much my superior", Beethoven exclaimed "That's Mozart saying 'here's what I could do, if only you had ears to hear' ", Rossini gushed "He is the only musician who had as much knowledge as genius, and as much genius as knowledge", and whose name was perhaps the last thing to pass Mahler's lips would have certainly given us more to be thankful had he not been untimely ripped from us.

Using the mean and s.d. of this sample, Darcy has extended his fanciful digression into what would have happened if Mozart had lived beyond 1791. Without any need to go to the extreme (one standard deviation above the mean, implying that Mozart would die in 1838 at the age of 82), the following strives to give some idea of the environment in which he would have lived.


One standard deviation below the mean
(1792 - 1804)

If he had survived to 48, Mozart would have additionally lived through: the murders of Gustav III of Sweden and Tsar Paul I; the storming of the Tuileries; the abolition of the French monarchy; the executions of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette; the death of Leopold II (the penultimate Holy Roman Emperor); the second and third partitions of Poland; the start and the end of the Terror; the start and end of the French Revolutionary Wars; the Consulate and Empire in France; the start of the Napoleonic wars; the Code Napoléon; Paganini's debut as performer; the introduction of metric units; the first silk top hats; the invention of the voltaic pile, electrolysis, the Jacquard loom, the first steamboat, the first steam locomotive; the discovery of infrared and ultraviolet radiation, morphine and the first asteroids; and the deaths of Piccinni, K. Stamic, and Cimarosa.

In music, the period 1793-1804 would have seen Haydn complete the 12 London symphonies (Mozart would most probably have followed him to London in 1794) and publish the "Emperor" Quartet, "The Creation" and "The Seasons", Cherubini stage "Medée", Beethoven, the sonatas for Piano, Opus 27 and Opus 28 ("Moonlight" and "Pastoral"), the sonata for Violin, Opus 47 ("Kreutzer"), and symphony No. 3 in E-flat Major, Opus 55 ("Eroica"). J.N. Forkel would publish his "Life of Johann Sebastian Bach".


At the mean
(1805 - 1821)

If he had survived to 65, Mozart would also have witnessed: the abolition of the Holy Roman Empire and the Papal States; the restoration of the monarchy in France; the serial declarations of independence in Latin America; the start of the Greek War of Independence; the partial and temporary resurrection of Poland; the partial autonomy of Serbia; the cessions of Finland, Bessarabia and Norway; the abolition of the slave trade in England; the battles of Austerlitz, Jena, Wagram, Borodino and Waterloo; the Congress of Vienna; the introduction of the Austrian Civil Code; the two abdications of Napoléon; the first Oktoberfest; the Great Comet of 1811; the Year Without a Summer; the publication of Philosophie Zoologique and Frankenstein; the invention of the stethoscope; the discovery of the Venus de Milo; and the deaths of J. Haydn, Grétry, and Paisiello.

In music, the period 1805-1821 would have seen Beethoven complete "Fidelio", the sonata for piano, Opus 53 ("Appassionata"), symphonies No. 5 (Opus 67), No. 6 ("Pastoral" - Opus 68), No. 7 (Opus 92) and No. 8 (Opus 93), Spontini stage "La Vestale", Rossini stage "Tancredi", "L'Italiana in Algeri" and "Barbiere di Siviglia", Schubert compose "Der Erlkönig", Spohr stage "Faust" and Hummel finish the concertos for piano, No. 2 and No. 3.


What might Mozart have written?

The projection of Mozart's creative work in 1791-1804 is made simple by the fact that he was expected in London in 1794. Therefore, the mid-years of this decade would probably have emphasised further symphonies as well as a few piano concertos.
Knowing his luck, the British public would probably have pined for Haydn instead, and Mozart would have had to return to a continent in revolution. The death of Cimarosa would have left him as the European composer par excellence of opera buffa, and it is not altogether unlikely that a series of Italo-German singspiel-cum-operas would have ensued. Back in Vienna, Mozart would have admired Haydn's new oratorios and probably had another one of his revelations after listening to the Beethoven sonatas. After 1805, Mozart might have felt the onset of old age. The fires might have burned as brilliantly as ever, but the vessel would have become weaker. However, Darcy believes that he would have taken on the challenge of Beethoven's later symphonies and quartets while refining further the medium of opera, egged on by the upstart Rossini. Finally, a splendid requiem for Papa Haydn could have been expected. His final works would probably have been some of the most shocking sonatas ever composed.

Darcy does not believe that Mozart would have entered a dry phase, unable to fit the stirrings of Romanticism into his music. His reasoning is simple: almost from birth, Mozart thrived on variety. As a young child, he was exposed to almost every manner of composition then known. Unlike Haydn, who spent most of his life cloistered with the Esterhazy family, Mozart was not forced to be innovative. Instead, he became a musical chameleon, but one supremely adept at forcibly evolving his experience to a higher level than the music to which he had been exposed. Probably the best evidence for this comes in his symphony No. 41, "Jupiter". This is unlike many previous Mozart symphonies. Though old techniques such as fugue are employed (brilliantly), the symphony has a level of thematic development that is beyond Beethoven at 35. Darcy believes it would be silly to assume that the composer of "the greatest orchestral work of the world which preceded the French Revolution" would suddenly become mute. Instead he would probably have soaked in the newer works by Beethoven, Cherubini, Haydn, Hummel, Rossini, Schubert, Spohr and Spontini - liking much of what he heard, being inspired by some and hating other parts, but learning all the while.

Inspired by Beethoven and Hummel, Mozart would have composed symphonies in the 1800s and 1810s that would dwarf those of the 1780s and 1790s just as surely as they dwarfed his symphonies of the 1760s and 1770s. In concertos, Beethoven would have been a distant competitor, though in sonatas and quartets, he would have been formidable. It is not impossible to imagine a similar relationship here between Beethoven and Mozart as existed between Mozart and Haydn. In opera, Mozart would surely have been unmatched. A cursory glance at the programming for the 2007-2008 season at the Royal Opera House reveals more works by Mozart than anyone else; at the Metropolitan he is second to Verdi. Darcy believes that Mozart's later operas would have made Mozart the greatest opera composer who ever lived, without even the need to acknowledge competition from Verdi or Wagner.

It is worth remembering that the current, sixth edition of the Köchel catalogue lists over 630 works by Mozart, composed over a period of 30 years. Even assuming that his works after 1791 became twice as complex or long, and further assuming a halving of his productivity after 1811 when he would have turned 55, we can project something like a further 260 works over this period. Assuming that the 260 would have been broken down roughly in line with his compositions prior to 1791, we can assume that we would now cherish a further 9 operas, 19 symphonies, 22 sonatas, 11 concertos for piano, 9 concertos for other instruments, 10 quartets and 7 religious works, in addition to some 175 smaller pieces.

Mozart could have died at the age of 65 in 1821, surrounded by his wife and children (and quite possibly grandchildren), not wealthy but not poor, mourned by millions. Unfortunately for us, God's Beloved died 30 years too early. Yet let us be grateful that we have any Mozart in our collective memory. The world would be a poorer place today had he not lived. Of how many people can that be said?

The most incredible quartet in history

Thumbing through his usual Internet resources to check a few facts, Darcy stumbled upon a gem which he would like to share. In the Reminiscences published by the Irish tenor Michael Kelly, one encounters the following comment about a little musical get-together. The scene is Vienna, probably in 1785. The setting, the salon of Stephen Storace, an English musical émigré.

"Storace gave a quartet party to his friends. The players were tolerable; not one of them excelled on the instrument he played, but there was a little science among them, which I dare say will be acknowledged when I name them:

.....The First Violin:.............................Haydn.
..... " Second Violin:............Baron Dittersdorf.
..... " Violoncello:...............................Vanhal.
..... " Viola:.........................................Mozart.

...I was there, and a greater treat, or a more remarkable one, cannot be imagined."

Haydn and Mozart require no introduction. August Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf was a musician in the employ of the Prince-Bishop of Breslau, whom the said P-B had ennobled and enriched so that he would not drift to pastures greener. He was vastly popular in his prime, coëval with Mozart and Haydn. Greatly esteemed, he was offered the position of K&K Kapellmeister by Joseph II - and declined. This was a position for which Mozart would gladly have given his eye-teeth. However, an unwillingness to move to Vienna permanently also meant that he is now practically forgotten. Jan Vanhal, who was unknown to Darcy until he read of this musical encounter, was apparently another successful composer and violinist.

This little musical event was also probably the time when Joseph Haydn told Leopold Mozart: “I swear before God, and as an honest man, that your son is the greatest composer known to me, either in person or by name.” To both Mozarts' gratification no doubt, though for vastly different reasons.

Darcy's mind is not often boggled, but it is now.

Excerpts from the Turkish Embassy Letters (II)

Mary Montagu seems to have become quite proficient in Turkish, and Darcy is pleased to share some of the first examples of Turkish transliterated (however imperfectly) into the Latin script.

"I have got for you, as you desire, a Turkish love-letter, which I have put into a little box, and ordered the captain of the Smyrniote to deliver it to you with this letter. The translation of it is literally as follows: The first piece you should pull out of the purse, is a little pearl, which is in Turkish called Ingi, and must be understood in this manner:

Ingi, Sensin Uzellerin gingi
Pearl, Fairest of the young.
Caremfil, Caremfilsen cararen yok
Clove, Conge gulsum timarin yok
Benseny chok than severim
Senin benden, haberin yok.
You are as slender as the clove!
You are an unblown rose!
I have long loved you, and you have not known it!
Pul, Derdime derman bul
Jonquil, Have pity on my passion!
Kihat, Birlerum sahat sahat
Paper, I faint every hour!
Ermus, Ver bixe bir umut
Pear, Give me some hope.
Jabun, Derdinden oldum zabun
Soap, I am sick with love.
Chemur, Ben oliyim size umur
Coal, May I die, and all my years be yours!
Gul, Ben aglarum sen gul
A rose, May you be pleased, and your sorrows mine!
Hasir, Oliim sana yazir
A straw, Suffer me to be your slave.
Jo ho, Ustune bulunmaz pahu
Cloth, Your price is not to be found.
Tartsin, Sen ghel ben chekeim senin hargin
Cinnamon, But my fortune is yours.
Giro, Esking-ilen oldum ghira
A match, I burn, I burn! my flame consumes me!
Sirma, Uzunu benden a yirma
Goldthread, Don't turn away your face.
Satch, Bazmazum tatch
Hair, Crown of my head!
Uzum, Benim iki Guzum
Grape, My eyes!
Til, Ulugorum tez ghel
Gold wire, I die - come quickly.

And, by way of postscript:

Beber, Bize bir dogm haber
Pepper, Send me an answer.

You see this letter is all in verse, and I can assure you, there is as much fancy shewn in the choice of them, as in the most studied expressions of our letters; there being, I believe, a million of verses designed for this use. There is no colour, no flower, no weed, no fruit, herb, pebble, or feather, that has not a verse belonging to it; and you may quarrel, reproach, or send letters of passion, friendship, or civility, or even of news, without ever inking your fingers."

Darcy is pleased that communications nowadays are considerably less ornate. He is pleased that English too has become less encumbered with frilly references. He feels little of the hüzün for which Pamuk is so famous.

Those who remember the Pope's visit to Turkey will no doubt recall that there was great reluctance to admit him to Aya Sofya. The Pope was but the latest in a long line of official visitors who encountered problems. Even the charming Mary Montagu found it necessary to become a pest before being granted permission.

"The next remarkable structure is that of St Sophia which is very difficult to see. I was forced to send three times to the caimairam, (the governor of the town) and he assembled the chief effendis, or heads of the law, and enquired of the mufti, whether it was lawful to permit it. They passed some days in this important debate; but I insisting on my request, permission was granted. I can't be informed why the Turks are more delicate on the subject of this mosque, than on any of the others, where what Christian pleases may enter without scruple. I fancy they imagine, that, having been once consecrated, people, on pretence of curiosity, might profane it with prayers, particularly to those saints, who are still very visible in Mosaic work, and no other way defaced but by the decays of time; for it is absolutely false, though so universally asserted, that the Turks defaced all the images that they found in the city."

Her view of the status of slaves and women in Turkey was quite unconventional for an European lady of the early eighteenth century.

"I know, you'll expect I should say something particular of the slaves; and you will imagine me half a Turk, when I don't speak of it with the same horror other Christians have done before me. But I cannot forbear applauding the humanity of the Turks to these creatures; they are never ill used, and their slavery is, in my opinion, no worse than servitude all over the world. 'Tis true, they have no wages; but they give them yearly clothes to a higher value than our salaries to our ordinary servants. But you'll object, that men buy women with an eye to evil. In my opinion, they are bought and sold as publicly, and as infamously, in all our Christian great cities."

Would that the status of women in Turkey too had risen together with those of their counterparts in Europe! Darcy firmly believes that had women been emancipated earlier, while the decline of the Ottoman Empire could not have been forestalled, at least the Republic could have been founded on firmer foundations.

And, next-to-last, Mary Montagu expresses the feelings of so many visitors to The City over the centuries.

"I am now preparing to leave Constantinople, and perhaps you will accuse me of hypocrisy, when I tell you 'tis with regret, but as I am used to the air, and have learnt the language, I am easy here; and as much as I love travelling, I tremble at the inconveniencies attending so great a journey, with a numerous family, and a little infant hanging at the breast. However, I endeavour, upon this occasion, to do, as I have hitherto done in all the odd turns of my life; turn them, if I can, to my diversion. In order to this, I ramble every day, wrapped up in my serigee and asmack, about Constantinople,and amuse myself with seeing all that is curious in it."

She also gives notice of why Istanbul today is not grander:

"Nothing can be pleasanter than the canal; and the Turks are so well acquainted with its beauties, that all their pleasure-seats are built on its banks, where they have, at the same time, the most beautiful prospects in Europe and Asia; there are near one another some hundreds of magnificent palaces. Human grandeur being here yet more unstable than any where else, 'tis common for the heirs of a great three-tailed bassa, not to be rich enough to keep in repair the house he built; thus, in a few years, they all fall to ruin."

Mary Montagu finally returned home in 1718, after long voyages via Tunis, Genoa and Paris. Canonically the last of her letters was written from Dover. Back in England, she continued to dazzle with her wit and intelligence. So much so that Alexander Pope became smitten with her. She rebuffed his advances, after which their previous amity turned completely sour. In 1739 she began to travel independently of her husband, and was never to see him again. (He continued to make money; at his death he was quite possibly the richest man in England.) Her daughter Mary - the baby born in Istanbul - was by now married to the Earl of Bute, the British Prime Minister. She prevailed upon her mother to return to England, where she died in 1762, a year after her husband.

On the strength of her wit and her writing, Mary Montagu would have gone down in history as a charming lady of the belles lettres, but she has one more, quite considerable claim to fame. To return to the Embassy Letters:

"A propos of distempers, I am going to tell you a thing that will make you wish yourself here. The small-pox, so fatal, and so general amongst us, is here entirely harmless, by the invention of ingrafting, which is the term they give it. There is a set of old women, who make it their business to perform the operation, every autumn, in the month of September, when the great heat is abated. People send to one another to know if any of their family has a mind to have the small-pox: they make parties for this purpose, and when they are met (commonly fifteen or sixteen together) the old womancomes with a nutshell full of the matter of the best sort of small-pox, and asks what vein you please to have opened. Sheimmediately rips open that you offer to her, with a large needle, (which gives you no more pain than a common scratch) and puts into the vein as much matter as can ly upon the head of her needle, and after that, binds up the little wound with a hollow bit of shell; and in this manner opens four or five veins. The Grecians have commonly the superstition of opening one in the middle of the forehead, one in each arm, and one on the breast, to mark the sign of the cross; but this has a very ill effect, all these wounds leaving little scars, and is not done by those that are not superstitious, who chuse to have them in the legs, or that part of the arm that is concealed. The children or young patients play together all the rest of the day,and are in perfect health to the eighth. Then the fever begins to seize them, and they keep their beds two days, very seldom three. They have very rarely above twenty or thirty in their faces, which never mark; and in eight days time they are as well as before their illness. Where they are wounded, there remain running sores during the distemper, which I don't doubt is a great relief to it. Every year thousands undergo this operation; and the French ambassador says pleasantly, that they take the small-pox here by way of diversion, as they take the waters in other countries. There is no example of any one that has died in it; and you may believe I am well satisfied of the safety of this experiment, since I intend to try it on my dearlittle son. I am patriot enough to take pains to bring this useful invention into fashion in England; and I should not fail to write to some of our doctors very particularly about it, if I knew any one of them that I thought had virtue enough to destroy such a considerable branch of their revenue, for the good of mankind. But that distemper is too beneficial to them, not to expose to all their resentment the hardy wight that should undertake to put an end to it. Perhaps, if I live to return, I may, however, have courage to war with them."

Not only did her son survive unscathed, but when Mary Montagu returned to London she did indeed do her utmost to convince her acquaintances to inoculate themselves and their children. Here she failed. A remedy developed by the barbaric Turk, transmitted by a weak and feeble woman was not to be popular in England, even though the Royal College of Physicians was able to replicate the benefits claimed. And so Edward Jenner is credited with developing the smallpox vaccine. Though his method was less dangerous than that of Mary Montagu, one wonders how many people died and how many others were disfigured (Wikipedia reports a rate of 60% of the population contracting smallpox, with one fifth then dying of the disease) in the years between Mary Montagu's return to England in 1718 and Jenner's experiments in 1796.

Darcy proposes a toast in memory of a very interesting woman!

Excerpts from the Turkish Embassy Letters (I)

We bloggers in Turkey, especially the expats, hail from a long line of correspondents. Though not one of the first, one of the most entertaining was Mary Wortley Montagu, though few in Turkey or England now remember her. This is not surprising; she commanded no battalions, was not much of a philosopher, and she was, after all, a woman. Yet she deserves far better. Darcy advises any who are interested in her history to do a simple Google search, or to read her article in Wikipedia.

Mary Pierrepoint was born in 1689. She was an young prodigy, well-educated and well-spoken. She became a pen-pal of Anne Wortley Montagu, and after Anne's early death, continued her correspondence with her brother, Edward. Matters came to a head, Mary and Edward fell in love, her father disapproved and so she eloped. It was a fitting start to her adult life (and none too soon: she was 23 and in danger of becoming an old maid. Then, as now, some men do not appreciate women who are cleverer than themselves.) Her husband's career progressed swiftly and in 1716 he was appointed an extraordinary ambassador to the Sublime Porte. They stayed in the Ottoman Empire for two years and Mary Montagu became the prototypical moonstruck English tourist. All of which she related to her friends in what came to be known as the Turkish Embassy Letters.

MM started her correspondence with the usual gushing excitement that grips many travellers to Turkey today - and the place was so exotic. Her very first letter from Ottoman lands (in this case Belgrade) was written to Alexander Pope. Her first impressions were not necessarily pleasant.

"...we passed over the fields of Carlowitz, where the last great victory was obtained by prince Eugene over the Turks. The marks of that glorious bloody day are yet recent, the field being yet strewed with the skulls and carcasses of unburied men, horses, and camels. I could not look, without horror, on such numbers of mangled human bodies, nor without reflecting on the injustice of war, that makes murder not only necessary but meritorious. Nothing seems to be a plainer proof of the irrationality of mankind (whatever fine claims we pretend to reason) than the rage with which they contest for a small spot of ground, when such vast parts of fruitful earth lie quite uninhabited."

"[Belgrade] is now fortified with the utmost care and skill the Turks are capable of, and strengthened by a very numerous garrison of their bravest janizaries, commanded by a bassa seraskier (i.e. general) though this last expression is not very just; for, to say truth, the seraskier is commanded by the janizaries. These troops have an absolute authority here, and their conduct carries much more the aspect of rebellion, than the appearance of subordination. You may imagine, I cannot be very easy in a town which is really under the government of an insolent soldiery."

However, the bey of Belgrade soon began to charm her. "My only diversion is the conversation of our host, Achmet Beg, a title something like that of count in Germany... He sups with us every night, and drinks wine very freely. You cannot imagine how much he is delighted with the liberty of conversing with me... I pass for a great scholar with him, by relating to him some of the Persian tales, which I find are genuine. At first he believed I understood Persian. I have frequent disputes with him concerning the difference of our customs, particularly the confinement of women. He assures me, there is nothing at all in it; only, says he, we have the advantage, that when our wives cheat us, nobody knows it. He has wit, and is more polite than many Christian men of quality. I am very much entertained with him. - He has had the curiosity to make one of our servants set him an alphabet of our letters, and can already write a good Roman hand."

Her next letter is the then-Princess of Wales (the future ill-starred Queen Charlotte), this time written from Edirne. It starts in exaggerated fashion: "I have now, madam, finished a journey that has not been undertaken by
any Christian since the time of the Greek emperors..." and ends with the highly politic: "The country from hence to Adrianople, is the finest in the world. Vines grow wild on all the hills; and the perpetual spring they enjoy makes every thing gay and flourishing. But this climate, happy as it seems, can never be preferred to England, with all its frosts and snows, while we are blessed with an easy government, under a king, who makes his own happiness consist in the liberty of his people, and chuses rather to be looked upon as their father than their master."

To Lady ----, in a latter dated the same day, she is somewhat more frank. "I won't trouble you with a relation of our tedious journey; but must not omit what I saw remarkable at Sophia, one of the most beautiful towns in the Turkish empire, and famous for its hot baths, that are resorted to both for diversion and health. I stopped here one day, on purpose to see them; and, designing to go incognito, I hired a Turkish coach. These voitures are not at all like ours, but much more convenient for the country, the heat being so great, that glasses would be very troublesome. They are made a good deal in the manner of the Dutch stage-coaches, having wooden lattices painted and gilded; the inside being also painted with baskets and nosegays of flowers, intermixed commonly with little poetical mottos. They are covered all over with scarlet cloth, lined with silk, and very often richly embroidered and fringed. This covering entirely hides the persons in them, but may be thrown back at pleasure, and thus permits the ladies to peep through the lattices...

In one of these covered waggons, I went to the bagnio about ten o'clock... I was in my travelling habit, which is a riding dress, and certainly appeared very extraordinary to them. Yet there was not one of them that shewed the least surprise or impertinent curiosity, but received me with all the obliging civility possible. I know no European court, where the ladies would have behaved themselves in so polite a manner to such a stranger. I believe, upon the whole, there were two hundred women, and yet none of those disdainful smiles, and satirical whispers, that never fail in our assemblies, when any body appears that is not dressed exactly in the fashion. They repeated over and over to me; "UZELLE, PEK UZELLE," which is nothing but, Charming, very Charming.

...I was here convinced of the truth of a reflection I have often made, That if it were the fashion to go naked, the face would be hardly observed. (Darcy: I fully agree.) I perceived, that the ladies of the most delicate skins and finest shapes had the greatest share of my admiration, though their faces were sometimes less beautiful than those of their companions. To tell you the truth, I had wickedness enough, to wish secretly, that Mr Gervais could have been there invisible. I fancy it would have very much improved his art, to see so many fine women naked, in different postures, some in conversation, some working, others drinking coffee or sherbet, and many negligently lying on their cushions, while their slaves (generally pretty girls of seventeen or eighteen) were employed in braiding their hair in several pretty fancies."

To the Abbott ----, in yet another letter dated the same day (the post must have been irregular), she makes the following observations: "'Tis certain we have but very imperfect accounts of the manners and religion of these people; this part of the world being seldom visited, but by merchants, who mind little but their own affairs; or travellers, who make too short a stay, to be able to report any thing exactly of their own knowledge. The Turks are too proud to converse familiarly with merchants, who can only pick up some confused informations, which are generally false; and can give no better account of the ways here, than a French refugee, lodging in a garret in Greek-street, could write of the court of England."

And, in sentiments shared by generations of (misguided) missionaries she also writes: "I was going to tell you, that an intimate daily conversation with the effendi Achmet-beg, gave me an opportunity of knowing their religion and morals in a more particular manner than perhaps any Christian ever did. I explained to him the difference between the religion of England and Rome; and he was pleased to hear there were Christians that did not worship images, or adore the Virgin Mary. The ridicule of transubstantiation appeared very strong to him. - Upon comparing our creeds together, I am convinced that if our friend Dr ---- had free liberty of preaching here, it would be very easy to persuade the generality to Christianity, whose notions are very little different from his."

After some sightseeing in Edirne, which naturally included the Mosque of Selim II, "dressed in my Turkish habit, and admitted without scruple; though I believe they guessed who I was, by the extreme officiousness of the door-keeper, to shew me every part of it" and which she found to be "...vastly high, and I thought it the noblest building I ever saw..." and also other places: "I went to see some other mosques, built much after the same manner, but not comparable in point of magnificence to this I have described, which is infinitely beyond any church in Germany or England; I won't talk of other countries I have not seen. The seraglio does not seem a very magnificent palace. But the gardens are very large, plentifully supplied with water, and full of trees; which is all I know of them, having never been in them."

Two hundred and ninety years ago today, on 29th May 1717, Mary Montagu wrote her first letter from Istanbul, again to Abbott ----. She had travelled from Edirne via Ciorlei, Selivrea, Bujuk Cekmege and Kujuk Cekmege. Her first impressions?

"...I can yet tell you very little of it, all my time having been taken up with receiving visits, which are, at least, a very good entertainment to the eyes, the young women being all beauties, and their beauty highly improved by the high taste of their dress. Our palace is in Pera, which is no more a suburb of Constantinople, than Westminster is a suburb to London. All the ambassadors are lodged very near each other. One part of our house shews us the port, the city, and the seraglio, and the distant hills of Asia; perhaps, all together, the most beautiful prospect in the world."

A little later, she writes again to Alexander Pope, in response to a letter she had received from him: "Your whole letter is full of mistakes, from one end to the other. I see you have taken your ideas of Turkey, from that worthy author Dumont, who has wrote with equal ignorance and confidence. 'Tis a particular pleasure to me here, to read the voyages to the Levant, which are generally so far removed from truth, and so full of absurdities, I am very well diverted with them. They never fail giving you an account of the women, whom, 'tis certain, they never saw, and talking very wisely of the genius of the men, into whose company they are never admitted; and very often describe mosques, which they dare not even peep into. The Turks are very proud, and will not converse with a stranger they are not assured is considerable in his own country."

Possibly her most fantastic letter - one which inspired orientalists in the decades to come - was written to her sister, soon after giving birth to a daughter in the British Embassy in Pera.

"I went to see the sultana: Hafiten, favourite of the late emperor Mustapha, who, you know, (or perhaps you don't know) was deposed by his brother, the reigning sultan, and died a few weeks after, being poisoned, as it was generally believed. This lady was, immediately after his death, saluted with an absolute order to leave the seraglio, and chuse herself a husband among the great men at the Porte. I suppose you may imagine her overjoyed at this proposal. - Quite the contrary. - These women, who are called, and esteem themselves queens, look upon this liberty as the greatest disgrace and affront that can happen to them. She threw herself at the sultan's feet, and begged him to poniard her, rather than use his brother's widow with that contempt. She represented to him, in agonies of sorrow, that she was privileged from this misfortune, by having brought five princes into the Ottoman family; but all the boys being dead, and only one girl surviving, this excuse was not received, and she was compelled to make her choice. She chose Bekir Effendi, then secretary of state, and above four score years old, to convince the world, that she firmly intended to keep the vow she had made, of never suffering a second husband to approach her bed; and since she must honour some subject so far, as to be called his wife, she would chuse him as a mark of her gratitude, since it was he that had presented her, at the age of ten years, to, her last lord. But she never permitted him to pay her one visit; though it is now fifteen years she has been in his house, where she passes her time in uninterrupted mourning, with a constancy very little known in Christendom, especially in a widow of one and twenty, for she is now but thirty-six. She has no black eunuchs for her guard, her husband being obliged to respect her as a queen, and not to inquire at all into what is done in her apartment.

I was led into a large room, with a sofa the whole length of it, adorned with white marble pillars like a ruelle, covered with pale blue figured velvet, on a silver ground, with cushions of the same, where I was desired to repose, till the sultana appeared, who had contrived this manner of reception, to avoid rising up at my entrance, though she made me an inclination of her head, when I rose up to her. I was very glad to observe a lady that had been distinguished by the favour of an emperor, to whom beauties were, every day, presented from all parts of the world. But she did not seem to me, to have ever been half so beautiful as the fair Fatima I saw at Adrianople; though she had the remains of a fine face, more decayed by sorrow than time. But her dress was something so surprisingly rich, that I cannot forbear describing it to you. She wore a vest called dualma, which differs from a caftan by longer sleeves, and folding over at the bottom. It was of purple cloth, strait to her shape, and thick set, on each side, down to her feet, and round the sleeves, with pearls of the best water, of the same size as their buttons commonly are. You must not suppose, that I mean as large as those of my Lord ----, but about the bigness of a pea; and to these buttons large loops of diamonds, in the form of those gold loops, so common on birth-day coats. This habit was tied, at the waist, with two large tassels of smaller pearls, and round the arms embroidered with large diamonds. Her shift was fastened at the bottom with a great diamond, shaped like a lozenge; her girdle as broad as the broadest English ribband, entirely covered with diamonds. Round her neck she wore three chains, which reached to her knees; one of large pearl, at the bottom of which hung a fine coloured emerald, as big as a turkey-egg; another, consisting of two hundred emeralds, close joined together, of the most lively green, perfectly matched, every one as large as a half-crown piece, and as thick as three crown pieces, and another of small emeralds, perfectly round. But her ear-rings eclipsed all the rest. They were two diamonds, shaped exactly like pears, as large as a big hazle-nut. Round her talpoche she had four strings of pearl - the whitest and most perfect in the world, at least enough to make four necklaces, every one as large as the duchess of Marlborough's, and of the same shape, fastened with two roses, consisting of a large ruby for the middle stone, and round them twenty drops of clean diamonds to each. Besides this, her head-dress was covered with bodkins of emeralds and diamonds. She wore large diamond bracelets, and had five rings on her fingers (except Mr Pitt's) the largest I ever saw in my life. 'Tis for jewellers to compute the value of these things; but, according to the common estimation of jewels, in our part of the world, her whole dress must be worth a hundred thousand pounds sterling. This I am sure of, that no European queen has half the quantity; and the empress's jewels, though very fine would look very mean near her's. She gave me a dinner of fifty dishes of meat, which (after their fashion) were placed on the table but one at a time, and was extremely tedious. But the magnificence of her table answered very well to that of her dress. The knives were of gold, and the hafts set with diamonds. But the piece of luxury which grieved my eyes, was the table-cloth and napkins, which were all tiffany, embroidered with silk and gold, in the finest manner, in natural flowers. It was with the utmost regret that I made use of these costly napkins, which were as finely wrought as the finest handkerchiefs that ever came out of this country. You may be sure, that they were entirely spoiled before dinner was over. The sherbet (which is the liquor they drink at meals) was served in china bowls; but the covers and salvers massy gold. After dinner, water was brought in gold basons, and towels of the same kind with the napkins, which I very unwillingly wiped my hands upon, and coffee was served in china, with gold soucoups.

The sultana seemed in a very good humour, and talked to me with the utmost civility. I did not omit this opportunity of learning all that I possibly could of the seraglio, which is so entirely unknown amongst us. She assured me, that the story of the sultan's throwing a handkerchief, is altogether fabulous; and the manner, upon that occasion, no other than this: He sends the kyslir aga, to signify to the lady the honour he intends her. She is immediately
complimented upon it, by the others, and led to the bath, where she is perfumed and dressed in the most magnificent and becoming manner. The emperor precedes his visit by a royal present, and then comes into her apartment: neither is there any such thing as her creeping in at the bed's foot. She said, that the first he made choice of was always after the first in rank, and not the mother of the eldest son, as other writers would make us believe. Sometimes the sultan diverts himself in the company of all his ladies, who stand in a circle round him. And she confessed, they were ready to die with envy and jealousy of the happy she that he distinguished by any appearance of preference. But this seemed to me neither better nor worse than the circles in most courts, where the glance of the monarch is
watched, and every smile is waited for with impatience, and envied by those who cannot obtain it."

And on that note, ends the first part of Darcy's excerpts from the Turkish Embassy Letters.

Steak tartare

Steak tartare is a favourite dish of Darcy's since he was very young, knew little French, and inadvertently ordered a dish quite unlike what he had been expecting. In the old days, Darcy prepared this dish in the manner hallowed by tradition, without any concern for bacteria. Then came the Mad Cow epidemic. So Darcy switched to venison. But then Darcy moved to Turkey. Venison became impossible to obtain and family and friends in Turkey strongly cautioned him not to eat raw meat. However, Darcy observed Turks in their millions eating çiğ köfte and not dying by the thousands. He then searched a little and came up with the following recipe, which he hopes will mollify the concern of said family and friends. Especially as mad cow disease apparently does not exist in Turkey.

Ingredients

600 gr pure fillet steak (cut as a cube)
2 egg yolks
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 dashes Tabasco
2 pinches salt
1 pinch ground black pepper
1 tbsp capers
1.5 tbsp chopped pickled gherkins
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 sprig parsley, very finely chopped
3 tbsp olive oil (of course virgin - this is a recipe)
4 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
Pommes frites

Instructions

Upon reaching home, place beef in the coldest part of the fridge for two hours. Pour 1/2 tbsp olive oil into a frying pan and turn up the heat.

When the pan is very very hot, take the steak and sear all its sides. Do not cook, sear. Remove beef from pan and cut off the sides. (Use the cooked meat elsewhere.) Slice the remaining raw beef (roughly 500 gr) and place in a food processor. Chop, not too finely. Add the lemon, the remaining olive oil, the salt and the parsley to the beef towards the end of the process. Cover and refrigerate chopped beef. Marinate for 30 minutes.

(Use the interval to prepare and fry your potatoes.)

Mix the Worcestershire sauce, tabasco, mustard, salt, black pepper, onion, half of the capers, and half of the gherkins. Remove beef from fridge and mix. Arrange into shape, carefully place the egg yolks on top, and sprinkle with the remaining capers and gherkins. Serve immediately with the pommes frites.

This is supposed to be a spicy dish. If your capsaicin tolerance is high or your insides are made of corrugated iron, you should increase the amount of tabasco used.

Notes

Do not buy the meat from any old butcher. And tell your butcher that you will be eating the meat raw. If you see but the shadow of an attempt to blink, desist. Make something else to eat, cooked. (In fact, Darcy generally recommends that you enter into the closest and warmest relationship with a good butcher, at least so far as is possible without enraging your "significant other". Of course, if your significant other is your butcher, then all the better. However, Darcy will be suggesting very close relationships with a number of suppliers and he does not recommend polygyny or polyandry.)

Why, you may ask, does Darcy reserve one-sixth or so of the meat he buys? The answer is straightforward: the majority of bacteria accumulates on the surface of meat. Searing sharply reduces their incidence. The marination reduces bacteria even further. How long you marinate depends also on how finely the beef has been chopped. 15 minutes may be enough, or 45 minutes may be required. However, marination does conflict with the texture. If you marinate overlong, the meat can become gooey.

Eggs too can be troublesome. Use fresh eggs and make sure the yolk (and white!) do not come into contact with the outer shell.

Picture courtesy of some other food nuts.

Civility is next to charity

Darcy believes that we must seriously consider the possibility that the present Pope, Benedict XVI, is unfit to be let out in polite society.

With an estimated 2 billion adherents, Christianity is the most widespread faith on earth. Of that number, roughly half are Roman Catholics, who look to the Bishop of Rome for guidance on matters spiritual, moral and sometimes even temporal. The Roman Catholic Church makes the usual claims for true understanding of God and stresses the primacy of the Pope. Unlike many other religions, this is also supported by weight of numbers; whereas protestants are split into numerous factions, the orthodox are more collegiate, the Sunni have numerous leaders, Vaishnavist Hindus are fundamentally quite separate from the Shaivist, and even Mahayana and Theravada Buddhism have their differences. Though the more lunatic fringes of protestantism consider the Pope to be very very wicked, most now treat him with respect. This is also true, to a lesser extent, of the orthodox. And while Muslims may consider Christianity adulterated, the leader of the largest grouping within the Christian world is again generally accorded respect. The Pope also enjoys a few curious prerogatives. He rules over a city-state, the only religious figure to enjoy the ability to issue his own stamps and coins. When speaking ex cathedra, he is held to be infallible. (In this, at least, he has company: Shiites routinely make the same claim for their religious figures). Since late Roman times, he has been called Vicar of Christ; and the keys on his coat of arms are the so-called "keys to heaven".

All this makes the Bishop of Rome the most important single religious figure in the world. Some recent popes have been inspirational. Darcy has a soft spot for John XXIII who cut a great mass of barnacles away from the body of the Church. Others have been less so. The jury (on this earth) is still out on Benedict XVI. A theologian of note, much praised for his laser-sharp intellect, the present Pope was semi-affectionately nicknamed the Panzerpapst in deference to his nation and in expectation of a Margaret Thatcher-like assault on the enemies of the Roman Church.

However, Darcy notes with surprise that outside of a few Catholic priests, the Pope's powder seems to have had strange side effects. Worse than this, some of his remarks will enter papal lore as among the least well considered. In one respect, Darcy understands the Pope. He cannot be expected to exude more than a basic goodwill towards other Christian sects, let alone other faiths. Since the late Middle Ages, the Roman Church has believed that only full communion with Rome would lead a person to heaven. Therefore for the Pope to promote anything other than Roman Catholicism would not only be silly, it would be doctrinally empty (unless he were speaking ex cathedra) and he would be in danger of seeming to acquiesce in committing untold numbers to limbo or hell.

The Pope's address at Regensburg, while lauded as a theological tour de force, was condemned with even greater fervour elsewhere. Not only is the latter highly reasonable (Benedict XVI launches a nearly 34-paragraph discussion of the supposed union between the Bible and Greek thought and as early as the fourth digresses wildly to comment on Islam) but Darcy finds little to approve in the logic of his argument. Darcy would very much like the Church to move beyond the philosophy of Augustine and Aquinas. These men were titans, true, but to ignore everyone who followed is silly. The philosophy of the Church is the tool with which it is supposed to convince thinking men and women. Essentially, these tools are now antique. Unfortunately, the Regensburg address will be remembered less for such gems as:

"The encounter between the Biblical message and Greek thought did not happen by chance. The vision of Saint Paul, who saw the roads to Asia barred and in a dream saw a Macedonian man plead with him: Come over to Macedonia and help us! (cf. Acts 16:6-10)-- this vision can be interpreted as a distillation of the intrinsic necessity of a rapprochement between Biblical faith and Greek inquiry."

which Darcy believes sits well with within a sermon but not a supposed philosophical tract, than for the

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

which enraged Muslims. Of course, the Pope was not saying that the new faith was evil and inhuman. What need for him to do so, when Manuel II - on whom the Pope lingers at greater length in his speech than on such people as St John the Evangelist, Plato and Socrates - speaks so cogently!

The response to the Pope's comments on Islam is best left to Islamic theologians, who did so in an open letter. The text of that can be found at http://www.islamicamagazine.com/issue18/openletter18_lowres.pdf. But Darcy's meanderings today have further to go. Some time after the Regensburg address, Benedict XVI visited Turkey. His very slight trimming of the sails had taken some of the sting from the insult felt by the Islamic world, and his utterly pleasant and diplomatic demeanour in Turkey means that, for Turks at least, that issue appears now to have been laid to rest.

However, the Pope's very next (and very recent) visit to Brazil has ignited fresh protests. Unlike the Regensburg address (which can be found in the original and amended versions on-line), Darcy has been been able to locate the Pope's speeches only on the Vatican's site. In a speech to Latin American bishops, Benedict XVI stated:

"Yet what did the acceptance of the Christian faith mean for the nations of Latin America and the Caribbean? For them, it meant knowing and welcoming Christ, the unknown God whom their ancestors were seeking, without realizing it, in their rich religious traditions. Christ is the Saviour for whom they were silently longing. It also meant that they received, in the waters of Baptism, the divine life that made them children of God by adoption; moreover, they received the Holy Spirit who came to make their cultures fruitful, purifying them and developing the numerous seeds that the incarnate Word had planted in them, thereby guiding them along the paths of the Gospel. In effect, the proclamation of Jesus and of his Gospel did not at any point involve an alienation of the pre-Columbian cultures, nor was it the imposition of a foreign culture."

Darcy views such comments as insensitive wish-fulfillment at best, and utterly meaningless drivel at worst. Not surprisingly, the reaction was swift. Darcy does not often agree with Hugo Chavez, but he thinks that

"representatives of the Catholic Church of those times, with honorable exceptions, were accomplices, deceivers and beneficiaries of one of the most horrific genocides of all humanity."

is succinct and to the point. Thankfully it was also generally dignified. And the Pope moved quickly, again trimming his sails.

However, the fact remains this Pope has not only angered Muslims (who are not his natural constituency), but has now angered the most vibrant Roman Catholic community in the world. Roman Catholicism today is not an European or North American religion. It is driven by Latin America. So the Pope's insensitivity is remarkable.

Benedict XVI remains a major figure. Darcy would not care to argue with him on matters of doctrine. But for such an intelligent man to make such mistakes is unusual. Darcy does not believe that the present Pope is a bad man. Nor does he believe that he is floating trial balloons to see what he can get away with. But Darcy does believe the Pope to be quite rude. It would perhaps not be remiss to suggest more thought and less of a Socratic monologue the next time.

An imperial chef cooks with his feelings....

Darcy is a sprightly 105 kilos, and such mass was not accumulated overnight. He is pleased to say that he has found Turkish food and cooking to be more than adequate to maintain his dignified proportions. An amateur cook - with a miss ratio of only 30% - Darcy has tried his hand at a few Turkish dishes. One he likes in particular is that for a chicken and walnut combination known as Circassian Chicken. The original recipe is from the excellent The Art of Turkish Cooking by Neşet Eren, amended to reflect advice received from other Turks as well as Darcy's own tastes.

As an aside, it may be worth mentioning that Darcy's 30% miss ratio has much to do with the impossible directions that he encounters in cookbooks. "A pinch of salt" he almost understands. "A cup of water" he does not. What type of cup? Filled to the brim or not? Until such time as cookbooks start to give exact details - e.g. 123 millilitres (Darcy is also a firm believer in the metric system) - Darcy will continue to apportion all of the blame for recipes that go wrong to sloppy writers.

Alas, Turkish cookbook writers are no exception to the rule. Indeed, they even boast of it, deriving authority for misleading their readers from the great chefs of history (Unlike Carême or Escoffier, these remain unnamed.) To quote from Eren: "When the Empress Eugénie... was in Istanbul as a guest of Sultan Abdülaziz, she fell in love with eggplant purée... She asked her host if he would allow his chef to teach her[s]... The Sultan obliged. The next day the French chef requested an audience with the empress and begged to be excused from this impossible task. "I took my book and my scales to the Turkish chef," he said, "and he threw them out. 'An imperial chef,' he told me, 'cooks with his feelings, his eyes, his ears, his nose.' " Darcy too has feelings, sometimes mixed, when in the kitchen but the concept of cooking with his ears is so beyond him that he feels humbled before the great chefs who can cook that way.

Ingredients

1.4 kg chicken meat (mainly breast), deboned of course
2.2 litres water
200 gr shelled walnuts
200 gr shelled pecans
One slice of French bread cut 3.5 cm thick
1 large onion, cut into large chunks
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 carrot, scraped, trimmed and cut into chunks
1 stalk celery, cut into chunks
1.5 teaspoons paprika
2 sprigs parsley
2 bay leaves
3 tablespoons of walnut oil
2 teaspoons of salt
0.5 tsp of ground black pepper

Instructions

Place the chicken, carrot, celery, onion, parsley, bay leaves and half the salt and black pepper into a large pot with the water. Bring to a boil, skim the top, and then reduce the heat and simmer for 15 minutes. The chicken should now be just cooked. Transfer the chicken and stock to a large bowl and let it all cool gradually. Once cool, strain stock, and save. Shred the chicken into thin strips. Set aside.

To the stock, add the bread, with the crust taken off. Take out the bread, squeeze to let half the water out, and set aside.

In a food processor, grind walnuts and pecans very finely. Add the wet bread, the garlic, walnuts, a little stock and blend them together. Continue slowly to add stock to the mixture until it has the consistency of mayonnaise. If the paste is too thick, add water. If too thin, either cook with your ears or pray that the excess water evaporates. Add the rest of the salt and black pepper to the paste.

Mix half the paste with the shredded chicken. Place on a plate. Spread the rest of the paste over the chicken (as if icing.)

In a very small pan combine the walnut oil and the remaining paprika over a very low heat until the oil begins to redden. Turn off the heat, let the oil cool, then strain. Discard the paprika, reserve the oil.

Drizzle the chicken with the oil. Serve slightly below room temperature, but not cold. As it cools, the mixture will set further. It keeps well in the fridge, though the texture changes slighly. If you like it, Darcy takes credit. If you do not, then you must have misread the recipe.

Picture courtesy of yemekzevki.blogspot.com.

In praise of fundamental "laicité"

Darcy had long had an abhorrence of religion in public affairs. He finds the sight of ostentatious church-going on the part of Mr Blair to be wrong; the direct line to God that Mr Bush has installed in the Oval Office has somehow led to extreme errors of judgement; and he is not convinced that Mr Erdogan and his party are the best future for Turkey. That is not to say that he does not credit Mr Erdogan and the AKP for much better leadership than Turkey has otherwise recently enjoyed. It is just that Darcy finds the idea of a Prime Minister who faints during Ramadan both sad (for the man himself) and bad governance.

Darcy is not the most fluent of wordsmiths. Nor does he necessarily know the ins and outs of Turkish politics as well as he would like. Therefore, Darcy will today quote from two articles that have appeared in the press recently and which he believes best reflect the situation.

"Most recently, six men described as Islamic militants were arrested in the United States on charges they plotted to attack New Jersey's Fort Dix army base and “kill as many soldiers as possible.” One of the men, a Turk, said: “It doesn't matter to me whether I get locked up, arrested or get taken away… or I die, it doesn't matter. I am doing it in the name of Allah.” Could that Turk belong to the secularist group Ms Berlinski views as anti-Zionist and anti-western? Which political party would he probably vote for in Turkey? CHP? Here are a few more questions: Was it the same anti-Zionist secularists who murdered the priest Trabzon, the judge in Ankara? Was it the secularists who bombed banks, synagogues and the British Consulate in Istanbul? Was it them who tortured and killed Christian converts in Malatya last month? Was Hrant Dink's murderer a secularist? Who arson attacked and killed 33 people in Sivas in 1993? How many people ... have been attacked in Turkey for not fasting during Ramadan? How many people, if any ... have been attacked for fasting during Ramadan? How many people ... have been attacked for drinking alcohol “in Muslim neighborhoods?” How many people, if any ... have been attacked in Turkey for NOT drinking alcohol? Do secularists kill in the name of secularism? ... Is there, anywhere in the world, a concept called as “secularist terror?” Is there a concept called as Islamic terror? Assuming these questions are given honest answers, what explains the difference in the answers?Of course, Mr Erdoğan and his men disapprove of violence in the name of Islam. But there would be a very thin line between violent Islam and “Muslim democracy” when the latter becomes the dominant ideology of an unstable, unpredictable and young populace."

The second quote is from another article by the same author.

"Let's begin with the number three of the AKP, Bülent Arınç, a man of many troubles these days. Before the presidential race (or, was it a race or an appointment process?) began, Mr. Arınç said that eventually a “religious president” would best fit Turkey. Assuming what Hüseyin Çelik, education minister, publicly said after the military's demarche –that secularism meant the state being at equal distance to all religions— is true, could Mr. Arınç possibly have meant a religious Christian or Jew as Turkey's next president? Mind you, he did say a “religious person,” not a “religious Muslim.” But of course he meant a religious Muslim!

Is the presumably unbiased parliament speaker, number two in the state protocol, really at equal distance to all religions? Would he really be content if a good, tax paying, religious but non-Muslim citizen of Turkey were elected president? A pious Orthodox or a Jew? A protestant Turk, for example, like the ones murdered in Malatya?

Has Turkey not been permanently criticized by both of the European Union and the United States for limiting religious freedoms of non-Muslims during the AKP's governance since 2002? Ah, liberal reformers who merely want religious freedoms and democracy in Turkey… Which party, by the way, crafted and legislated the famous Article 301, which brought, among others, Hrant Dink, under the spotlight until a lunatic murdered him? Was it the MHP? The CHP? Or was it not a party but the autocratic military?"

Darcy has learnt one thing in Turkey. That political labels do not always carry across borders. He is therefore fully in support of Mr Berkdil and not those who, together with creationism, believe in the AKP's sudden zeal for a separation of church and state.

Links to the full articles at The Turkish Daily News. http://www.turkishdailynews.com.tr/article.php?enewsid=72920 and http://www.turkishdailynews.com.tr/article.php?enewsid=73287

The long shadow of Sabbetai Zevi

One of the most intriguing - and, to Darcy, most entertaining - episodes in the history of religion took place in the mid-17th century in the Ottoman Empire. Sabbetai Zevi was born in 1626 in present-day Izmir, studied the Talmud like a good Jewish boy, and also the Kabbalah. He married twice, was divorced twice and gradually began to work himself into a religious fervour. Jewish tradition apparently holds that the Messiah will come at the end of a long period of conflict. Europe was at the time going through one of its periods of self-immolation, now known as the Thirty Years' War. The 1640s and 1650s had also been a volatile time for the Ottoman Empire. Murad IV had died in 1640 at the age of 27 from what is believed to have been cirrhosis of the liver; Ibrahim I (commonly known as The Mad) had been deposed in 1648; and Mehmed IV had ascended to the throne at the age of seven, with real power in the hands of the Regent, his grandmother, the formidable Kösem. If the rapture index had been available in the 1640s, it would surely have risen above 160. Driven by this and by over-indulgence in the Kabbalah, Sabbetai Zevi revealed himself as the Messiah to a small group of friends in 1648.

To quote jewishencyclopedia.com, "His mode of revealing his mission was the pronouncing of the Tetragrammaton in Hebrew, an act which was allowed only to the high priest in the Sanctuary on the Day of Atonement." Audacity indeed. Though at first his claims received little publicity and less credence, he and his followers became enough of a pest to be encouraged to leave Izmir; by 1658, he was ensconced in Istanbul. By that time, developments in the Ottoman Empire had allowed for a recovery: Kösem had been removed from power in 1651 and replaced by the Sultan's mother, Turhan Hatice, who in turn had appointed one of the most capable men in Ottoman history, Mehmet Köprülü as Grand Vizier in 1656. However, calm and content had not magically re-appeared and the Ottomans were embroiled in a long and bitter war with Venice (and indirectly Spain), which would eventually lead to their capture of Crete after possibly the longest siege in history (1647-1669). The Ottomans were also at war with Transylvania, Austria and France. Times were indeed unsettled in Europe and within the Ottoman realm.

Sabbetai Zevi's increasingly popular movement was therefore still of less importance to the Ottomans than the more pressing threats from their infidel enemies. As such, the fabrication of supposedly ancient prophetic documents which identified him conclusively as the Messiah, or his travels through Salonika (the centre for many years of Jewry), Athens, and Jerusalem excited little action of the part of the authorities. The peripatetic Zevi arrived in Cairo in 1660, where he further increased the number of his supporters.

The supposedly cataclysmic year of 1666 was fast approaching. Zevi travelled back to Izmir via Jerusalem, and in Aleppo he publicly declared himself to be the Messiah, and was accepted as such in the main synagogue, amidst much blowing of shofar. By the time he had returned to Izmir, his fame had spread so wide that he was able to depose the chief rabbi of the city. And around this time, word that the Messiah had come began to spread not just among the Jews in Ottoman lands, but in other countries as well. Books were printed singing his praises as far afield as Amsterdam (from two of which come these illustrations, via jewishencyclopedia.com).

Tired of war and pogroms, European Jewry began to make preparations en masse for a removal to the Ottoman Empire in response to the Sabbatean declaration that was published in 1665 (66?):

"The first-begotten Son of God, Shabbethai Tebi, Messiah and Redeemer of the people of Israel, to all the sons of Israel, Peace! Since ye have been deemed worthy to behold the great day and the fulfilment of God's word by the Prophets, your lament and sorrow must be changed into joy, and your fasting into merriment; for ye shall weep no more. Rejoice with song and melody, and change the day formerly spent in sadness and sorrow into a day of jubilee, because I have appeared."

His enemies had not been idle, but not with great success. Attempts by the more orthodox rabbis to have him executed by the Ottomans failed in the face of Ottoman condescension. By 1666, Zevi's delusions had reached absurd levels. And so, when the Ottomans called him to Istanbul to give an accounting, he travelled readily, both he and his followers convinced of his physical and moral invulnerability, and possibly with the intention to fulfill a so-called prophecy that he would place the Sultan's crown on his own head.

Reality was rather different. The Ottomans had signed a favourable peace with Austria and France. Transylvania had again been subjugated. The siege of Candia was nearing its end. Fazil Ahmet Köprülü - the son of Mehmet - was proving to be as capable (if less vindictive) a Grand Vizier as his father. Internal reforms had buttressed both the Ottoman and Köprülü dynasties. Zevi was then arrested and held in close confinement. His fate was unknown to the vast majority of his followers who by this time were claiming all manner of miracles were occurring in the Ottoman capital.

The eventual realisation of his arrest little to divert these beliefs, for Zevi was treated with extreme courtesy and held in comfortable quarters. However, news of his continuing activities Brought before the Grand Vizier, who chastised him for provoking disorder and demanded to see proofs of miracles, Zevi was taken aback - especially as the Grand Vizier proposed to use him in target practice for the imperial guard. Should Zevi survive, the Grand Vizier declared, the Ottomans would be happy to recognise him as the Messiah.

Not surprisingly, Zevi there and then gave up his claim to be the Messiah. Why the Ottomans pressed him then to convert to Islam is not known. But he was, and he did. And was appointed a porter at the palace with the salary of 150 akçes (silver pieces, equal to roughly 1/110th of a Venetian ducat) a month, plus food and lodging. To Izmir Zevi wrote: "God has made me an Ishmaelite; He commanded, and it was done. The ninth day of my regeneration." The conversion of the would-be Messiah was met with joy by the Grand Rabbi (the Jewish exilarch in Istanbul) and dismay by those Jews that had believed Zevi. However, a large number of his followers, believing this to be part of the Messianic plan, also converted to Islam. Today their numbers must number in the hundreds of thousands, possibly millions.

Zevi's later life was less illustrious. He daily vacillated between submission to the Ottoman will and renewed messianic claims. He was eventually stripped of his modest position at the palace and banished to Ulcinj in modern-day Montenegro, where he died in 1676. (Darcy notes with interest that Ulcinj was also the town where the Ottomans held Cervantes capitve!) His burial place is not known, and some of his followers have assumed that he was bodily transported to Heaven, along the lines of Elijah and Mary. A commentator at jewishencyclopedia.com states: "Even he has accepted islam, and enjoyed a turkish appanage, in the house where he has lived, there is an hebraic altar with two David's stars." Darcy has no means of verifying this.

Sabbetai Zevi's legacy is certainly mixed. For one, mainstream Muslims view Sabbateans with suspicion that derives from his apparent willingness to change religion on a daily basis. The Turks today call Sabbateans "dönme" or turncoats, not a term of approbation. As for the Jews, any mention of his name is suffixed by a “yemach shemo,” may his name be blotted out.

Interesting then, that from a remove of over three centuries, Sabbetai Zevi still manages to stir up controversy. For that, see http://www.forward.com/articles/shrine-of-false-messiah-in-turkey-to-be-razed/. Darcy advises everyone to visit the house before it disappears.

Some politics, some religion, some history

Darcy can get easily bored, so his previous determination to continue on the subject of religion per se has been lightly put to one side. Instead, Darcy would like to write post this remarkable picture that he found on http://www.occidentalis.com/. A very interesting site, set up "pour que la France ne devienne jamais une terre d'islam". Darcy recommends a visit, and a read. There are many gems in that site. While Darcy believes passionately that Islamic fringe groups ought to have a dose of their own medicine administered to them, he is catholic in his discrimination, loathing the American religious right as much as nutcases in Judaism, Islam, Buddhism (oh, yes) and so on and so forth. To put it another way, Darcy is an equal opportunities discriminator against all extreme forms of religion.

Which is why I like England and why I like Turkey. Most writers at occidentalis would probably disagree, but Darcy long ago gave up on the possibility of having a logical argument with a man of passionate religion. Much as Darcy believes that the nature of God - if It exists - is not knowable, he finds that the points to which religious idiots refer are beyond the capabilities of human language and logic. Back to the site: Darcy was particularly amused by the comment "Ne glausons pas, [l]a Turquie de 2007, c'est la France de 2015, le rempart de l'armée en moins...". To which he can only respond with a Gallic shrug.

By the standards of the posters at occidentalis, the United Kingdom must be the most European nation. After all, while Turkey's flag boasts the crescent and star, and other European countries have at best only one cross (interesting to note that France has none), the UK boasts no less than three crosses: those of St George (England), St Andrew (Scotland) and St Patrick (Ireland). Though occidentalis presumably would prefer to gloss over the facts that St George was a soldier in Asia Minor (i.e. modern Turkey), St Andrew was the patron saint of Istanbul (and the Patriarchate) long before the Scots arrogated him and that only St Patrick has little connection with Turkey. So - the UK flag being 2/3 Anatolian - one could argue that two intruders have slithered into Europe, not one. Equally amusing is that the combination of crescent (and sometimes star) have figured in representations of Isis, Diana, the Virgin Mary, Byzantium and Islam, before being prominently placed on the Turkish flag. Darcy loves Turkish syncretism.

In the meantime, life continues as normal in Turkey today, without much reference to the EU. Except that today is national holiday - on a weekend, tant pis. Youth and Sports Day, to be exact, which sounds eerily like some Soviet festival, except that it was set up to commemorate the start of Turkish resistance to occupation in 1919. A flag day, therefore. Flags fluttering from window sills and balconies. Flags waving on the television. Turks certainly love their flags. No further public holidays in Turkey until 30th August, again tant pis.

Ecstasy and rapture

In common with most modern men, Darcy uses the words ecstasy and rapture interchangeably, except when he's referring to the habits of the modern dancing savages. And one image is indelibly linked in Darcy's mind with ecstasy: that of St Theresa of Avila by Bernini, surely one of the most memorable statues to emerge from the chisel of an artist. St Theresa was a very well meaning 16th century nun, who entered the Carmelites, founded numerous convents, and was the first woman to be named Doctor of the Church by the Roman Catholic Church, albeit nearly four centuries after her death. Whatever the timeline, she is in very august company indeed.

The composition reflects St Theresa's own writings: "I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it, even a large one. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying."

Some have said that these words reflect St Theresa's repressed sexuality, others have called the sculpture pornographic. Certainly, a closer look at the face of St Theresa (more easily said than done, given the work's position) could be interpreted this way. But Darcy believes that whatever the cause for religious ecstasy - strange wiring of the brain, chemical imbalances or the presence of The One - there is a slight but definite divide. Though Darcy could of course be mistaken. Bernini loved his jokes.

On the other hand, St Theresa of Avila has never really been popular with Protestants, partly because her activities coincided with the Counter-Reformation, partly because of the fame of Bernini as a propagandist for the Catholics, and partly because some Protestants can be dour and unappreciative of the joys of life. Part of the reason for this post is the wish to share this remarkable artefact with a wider audience. Which brings Darcy to the second part of his post.

In the First Epistle to the Thessalonians, Paul states:

4.16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
4.17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
4.18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

This has become quite famous in certain Protestant circles, and is in great favour with the Americans. It forms the basis for their belief in rapture. Gentle readers will no doubt be aware that before the word rapture became synonymous with ecstasy, it meant to transport someone. Hence 1st Thessalonians 4.17 describes a physical transport, not one of the senses. Much has been made of rapture. A great deal of discussion takes place in American Protestant circles with respect to its imminence. Some believe that the rapture is imminent, saying that all prophecies have been fulfilled. Others point to a check list that needs to be filled before it can take place. Apparently, the Bible states that the nations of the world must have unified their currencies; that peace must reign in Israel; that there will be a one world government; that the Temple must have been rebuilt in Jerusalem, animal sacrifices must have been reinstated - and the Anti Christ must have been be revealed.

Darcy's own religious feelings being one of agnostic deism, he finds such formulaic recitations tiresome.

However, imagine Darcy's delight when he yesterday found a wonderful Internet site to help him if he so chose. (After all, if someone as intelligent as Voltaire did not wish to pick quarrels with an infernal being, then Darcy may well decide the course of wisdom is to repeat such prudence with Something Infinitely Greater.) Simply put, it is a barometer of the Coming of the End. Called simply, the Rapture Index. Any readers wishing to find it can visit it here: http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html. The index is linked to 45 variables, including such factors as liberalism, civil rights, and the price of oil. The site is regularly updated. As of 14th May, the RI stands at 158, which is at the upper end of "Heavy Prophetic Activity". Anything beyond 160 falls into the realm of "Fasten Your Seat Belts". Though why the Protestant editors of that site should wish either to make their bodily assumption more difficult by fastening themselves to mundane seats or to take their seats with them into the heavens is beyond me.

Darcy will henceforth take care not to equate ecstasy with rapture. Though Darcy is often bemused by religion, he will continue in this vein for a few posts, unless something interesting happens in the world around him.

In praise of information

Darcy well remembers, in the heady days of the early 1990s, his first encounter with the Internet. Sitting at his computer late at night, he would enter search words into his browser (yahoo, one believes), and then click on all the links that came up. Or try to. The problem was that it was exceedingly difficult to sift the dross from the more worthwhile stuff. The same problem prevails today, even though Google is somewhat of an improvement.

Enter "life" and search in Google. You get approximately 986 million hits. If one spent 1 second perusing each, one would have to spend 43 years or so doing so. Which, given the need to sleep and to eat, is probably beyond my span. And the most popular? Life.com, "America's weekend magazine", which appears to be aimed at an alphabetically challenged viewership. Skipping the second most popular link (we shall come back to it later), we see USA Today in third place ("Entertainment News: Celebrity gossip blogs, photos, videos"), the EU Commission in fourth place ("Environment - Life") - no doubt a worthy site - then LIFE ("The UK's leading pro-life charity"), followed in sixth place by Lifetimetv.com.

The problem is that none of these sites really describes Life. It gets progressively more bizarre ("Riding herd on succulent Kobe beef", "Become a chiropractor", "True life, Deidre dating, travel, motors, Woman, Mystic Meg" before (one would hope) getting back on track. The problem is that the Internet has become very difficult to use, if one is searching for information.

Which brings us back to the second most popular site. Http://en.wikipedia.org/. And if one clicks on this, page after page of relevant stuff, reasonably sorted (so that life in the biology sense is easily distinguishable from, say, The Game of Life, (which is apparently a popular board game someplace where people can't get enough of the real thing) appears on one's screen. Glancing through Wikipedia, one can sometimes encounter silly errors, but in those areas where Darcy claims some expertise, he has generally found the entries to be satisfactory. Certainly, the information content does not appear to be less than Darcy's copies of Britannica or Larousse. As Darcy was brought up to value information and has since become something of a junky, Wikipedia appears to be the modern answer to his dreams. And therefore, in his first venture into a space of his own in the Internet, Darcy chooses to pay tribute to both Wikipedia and its parent, the Wikimedia Corporation. Most honourable mention must also be made of the contributors to the various Wiki sites, without which Darcy would not be able to find quick, often apposite answers to his myriad daily questions. While the span of his years may still be insufficient to read the 1.7 million articles in English alone (a number which is increasing daily), Darcy thanks them all.